Monday, November 28, 2016

the MEDIA just doesn't GET IT!

We've got some bad Huevos in this omelet called Redondo and it's time to Drain the Lagoon in our fair hamlet. It's no wonder the crooked system is against me. Beware! The Press is truly the enemy of the people, and David Mendez is a hatchet man for the World Bank.
Here's Redondo's Measure C debate:
Although, The Daily Breeze dropped the ball biggly with the McMartin Preschool fiasco, it seems they are making attempts at redemption...

They are afraid, because this campaign is Taking Off Like A Rocket while the Dishonest Media is oblivious.

Special Thanks to Oh (Oscar) Shengjun for the Video. We have the best students at Poly! Truly terrific students.

I am asking all my beautiful supporters to write silly letters about how serious our campaign is to turn Redondo into a World Class Abusement Park. Send letters care of the failing Beach Reporter and flood their facebook comments page.

Who is this Mowatt character?
A real human enigma, it seems.

Dear Newspaper Editor,

I am a member of the Mowatt for Mayor of Redondo circuit, and let me tell you, our rallies are always enlightening. The crowds we draw are electric and never fail to thunder when Mowatt mentions the current polls have him surging to the lead. Easy Reader please shine a light on this bright guy, he is a real live wire. Mowatt has the spark, he is the jump start this electorate has been waiting for!

Yours Truly,

Ignatius J. Reilly
Redondo beach

Received this letter today from a concerned supporter:

Hey Candidate Eric,

I have been doing some research on the current campaign and have uncovered some troubling information. It seems that while your competitors claim to be non-sexist and gender-neutral, they all harbor deeply seated sex and gender biases. For example, each of them typically refer to restrooms as the "men's" and "women's" rooms, rather than the proper designation of "restroom facilities typically used by (males or females)." This lack of strict adherence to codes of political correctness points to major character flaws in your opponents. I believe that this discovery also uncovers a strategic opportunity for you to take the lead on this issue - by making a public announcement that as a display of personal sensitivity to the importance of gender neutrality, you will be eliminating the male suffix contained in your current family name, and re-introducing yourself as Eric "Cole-person." I would advise that you please consider doing this immediately.


Max(elle) Forrestor
Redondo or Redonda Beach

And a Funny Facebook Exchange...

The Coleman Campaign is now accepting suggestions on what to call the Abusement... Or Amusement Park, rather, that is set to consume Redondo and every hapless chap in it. Winner gets a caricature!

Geoff White The Redondo Beach Glory Hole.

Eric J. Coleman Redondo Beach Gloriously Wholesome Park or Glory Whole Park for short. Ha

Peter Nerad The Rape of Redondo.

Seamus O'Blivion The FUCKED FACTORY.

Steve Jones The Tragic Kingdom, Phoney Island and/or Slick Flags.

Peter Nerad Redondo Amusement Park. Why build inland when you can screw up a beach.

Peter Nerad Redondo Amusement Park. F**k Mother Nature She won't mind.

Jim Light Steve's Strip Mall by the Sea; Steve's Swamp and Swill; Freddy's Folly; Bruning's Blighted Bazaar; Naja's Nosedive; Christian's Cookie Cutter Corner; Sell Out Square; Chamber Chumphole, Laura's Loserland; Horvath's Hellhole; Emdee's Empty Emporium; Bruning's Budget Boutique; CenterCal Sell Out; Bruning's Bait and Switch; Follies on the Pier...

Seamus O'Blivion  That was breath-taking. Thank you.

John Thomas Cantu The Rupture

Jamie Quinones Koleman's Kalidascope of Krazy..

David McGrath Trumpland. I think it's a smart name

Michael Maginot You should declare it to be a separate country. It could be the Most Serene Peoples Democratic Republic of Redondostan. You could give your self the title of His Imperial Majesty, the Sovereign of the Pacific, Lord Emperor of the West, Grand Pubhah of the Flying Sphegetti Monster, Defender of the Coast, and Snappy Dresser Eric the First.

Eric J. Coleman All winners! Much of this will be used in the debate and credit given. Thanks.